Two things from this week.

 I watched this

And found this in the hallway

Expectations and Realities

Yesterday marked the end of week two.

I think I'm finally getting used to my crazy schedule. I didn't want to work while student teaching, but I don't have that choice, unfortunately. I don't feel sorry for myself, but let this much be clear: if it is AT ALL possible, DON'T WORK WHILE STUDENT TEACHING. Seriously, you're going to need all the time you can get to work on your lessons, plan for the coming weeks and try to recharge your batteries.

I spent a good deal of time over the break thinking about my lessons, looking up ideas and books I wanted to share with my students. The unfortunate thing is that most of my ideas were not in step with what the students at this school need. That is neither a reflection on me, nor on my students. You can't really "know" what is needed until you've spent time with your students.

In my opinion, rule number one in teaching is: Start Where They Are. No two 6 year olds are the same, even within one school. Which is why my number one personality requirement for a teacher is FLEXIBILITY.

This week I started my lessons with the K-4 group. My K-1 students have had limited exposure to the arts and the 2-4 kids have a wide range of exposure levels and skills. Many, if not all of them are not exposed to art or art making outside the art classroom.

So, while I remember drawing, playing with clay and paint at home, that's not the life most of these kids are living. Which means even tasks as simple as cutting shapes out of paper becomes a challenge, and of course an opportunity.

So for the smallest kids I decided to work with them on line and color. We talked about different line types (horizontal, vertical, zig zag etc..) and act them out together - one of my favorite things EVER. We talk about lines as being dots that go for a walk and then together we "walked our dots" all the way across the page (another challenge especially for the Kindergarten class).

We also talked about color families, and the kids are working on coloring their pictures in using primary colors. We explain that just as they have a family, and the school is a family, colors have families too. Primary colors are "our first, and most important color family" because they can't be mixed.

I demonstrated coloring in their lines with the markers, explaining why they shouldn't place two colors next to each other. Some of them really struggled with it, while others did very well. I'll see if I can't get some photos of the finished work in the coming week.

The 2-4 classes started working on a simple project that involved tracing geometric shapes and learning to make them overlap, each level had a different level of requirements based on the group. I know it sounds very easy- but this requires an understanding of space and transparency, which for some of my kids is very difficult.

This week almost everyone got through tracing their shapes so this week we will begin painting. At least, I hope we can use paint. Each of them had to choose warm or cool colors and the difficulty will be keeping them from trying to do it all at once. Not putting two colors next to each other, and staying in the lines requires a level of planning and fine motor control that can be difficult for young children. I'm contemplating having them paint it with watercolor, or maybe only giving them one color at a time... we will see.

Additionally because of the move towards the new Common Core Curriculum I need to write text based questions to accompany my lessons. As I understand it, so far, the new requirements mean that all courses need to further integrate reading and writing into their content. In this case, they need to read a passage, look at an image and be able to answer a question by drawing information from both places.

As I am planning to move from the overlap pre-studio activities into a larger unit on Kandinsky, I'll be writing my questions based on his work. This isn't something I've had to do before, so I'll let you know how it turns out....


Week Two -

High Points

• I still love the K-4 classes. The littlest of them are my favorites. The hugs and smiles warm my heart in a way I can't explain. But it can also break your heart when you begin to understand some of the hardships they face. It's a hard line to walk.
• A fourth grade girl gave me a small piece of candy on Friday, she was in my last class of the day. I said "how did you know I'd need chocolate?" Only teasing her of course and she said "I thought you would be tired" SO SWEET!

Low Points

• A maintained level of anxiety and stress over trying to plan for such a wide range of students.The older kids, 5-7 still elude me. Many of them already have teenage attitudes, which for urban students can be intense. Trying to come up with lessons for kids so clearly "over it" is a bit daunting.
• The discipline issues for these grades are not getting much better. One class in particular is pretty wild. My co-op, who has spent twenty years at this school tells me it's the worst she's ever experienced. One of the boys point blank looked me in the face and told me he "didn't give a s--t." I'm supposed to take over all the classes - when these kids won't behave for someone they've known for years - how can I fare any better?

Things to Remember

"The measure of a person is not in how well they prepare for everything to go right: but in how gracefully they stand up and move on when everything goes wrong."

Looking for Balance

So, I survived the first week.

When I visited the school, back before the break, I thought that I had some understanding of what I was getting myself into. My assumptions were right, but didn't come close to going far enough.

Most of my students are refugees, or come from that lineage. Many of them saw horrible things happen to people they love. Many live now in crowded spaces, sharing most everything they have. And some of the stories go so far past those lines that I can hardly find the words.

I learned a few things this week about my students that I'm struggling to handle. For the sake of everyones privacy I won't get into the specifics here. Suffice it to say it broke my heart and made me sick to my stomach all at once, and leaves the tales I've been told from very small little children about TVs lost to drive by shootings seem like nothing.

The student all of this happened to, as one would expect has a number of discipline issues. They back talk, ignore directions, make wise comments and generally seem "above it all." During a presentation my cooperating teacher (forever after this referred to as my co-op) was giving this student was talking, doodling and generally misbehaving. It wasn't only their fault but since I had done the "one more time and I'm moving you" thing, I felt I had to back it up. The student reacted poorly, and so aggressively that I felt myself inclined to be harsher about the discipline, I resisted the urge and now am glad I did.

The trouble is, you can't go around feeling sorry for these kids. Because as my co-op says that just another form of racism or classism. Yes, most of these students, if not all, were handed the short end of the stick. And yes, they will have to work harder than other children. But they CAN succeed, and they don't need special favors to do it, they need someone who cares enough about them to be hard on them, to not expect less because we all know that life isn't fair. As my mother always says "no one escapes this life unscarred," the true test is what you do with it after the fact.

I believe all these things fully, but more often than not putting it into practice is hard to do. While the student I spoke of before this has had some genuinely, above and beyond, gut wrenching horrible things happen to them, how is it fair to expect less?

I've taught at the college level for many years now, and while its not been as intense as this has been, I've seen a good deal of pain and hardship in my classes. Frequently it comes out in financial issues, they can't buy this or that, can't get things done because of work... And on occasion I've been lenient. I've bought materials, loaned books, given second chances. The worst part of it is its 99% failure rate.

In 5 years at this college I can count on one hand the students that took those chances and went on to success. In fact I think that number may only be one.

So the questions becomes, where do you draw the line?

How do you go from looking into the eyes of a student who has endured horrors and push them like you push everyone else?

There is no short answer. Each situation is unique, and as my co-op says after many many years at this school, you learn who you can push, and who you can't.

I've only got 7 more weeks, but I hope to make the most of it.

Week One -

High Points:

• The above drawing from a 5th grade girl.
• Acting out different kinds of lines with the little ones. It is such a kick!
• Hugs in the hallway from the same little ones.

Low Points:

• The above situation.
• A handful of discipline. How many times do I have to say "raise your hand and wait?!"
• Feeling a little gun shy and overwhelmed. I love it, but I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself for large and lofty lessons when these kids seldom even get a chance to be kids.